He's gone for the holidays

A letter about presence, integrity, and the conversations books taught us how to have everywhere.

My 11-year-old, Aidyn, left today to spend the holidays with his father and his family.

It’s bittersweet. I love the time he has with them. And I still feel the ache of the house when he’s gone.

This is one of the places where being an engaged parent matters most to me—not just when we’re together, but when we’re apart. Making sure my presence is something he carries.

Before he left, I spent time at his school. It was the first official schoolwide PTA event I’d attended since last year.

I stepped away after some things happened that didn’t align with my values. I needed distance.

But yesterday, I signed up anyway—and showed up on my terms.

I stood with Aidyn’s friend group and looked at every face. I knew every name. I could tell you a story about each one. I noticed who was missing—a friendship we’d already talked through with honesty and care because it wasn’t healthy for him or others.

I laughed with his teacher like old friends.

With the kids, we talked Stranger Things. We debated why Cars 3 is superior because of Jackson Storm.

That’s what engagement looks like to me: attention, memory, discernment. Being there without needing to manage the moment.

We left early. Picked up a few things he’d want while away. Rested on the couch.

When his father knocked, Aidyn leapt up. Pure joy.

His dad swung him over his shoulder and they were gone.

That’s the part that warms me: knowing my son never feels pulled between worlds. Never pressured to choose. Only free to love in full.

Over the years, our conversations around books became conversations everywhere. At the table. In the car. On the couch.

Books were where we started. They’re still where we return when we need to reconnect.

When he comes home, we’ll open a new one together. Step into another world. Let it meet us where we are.

If you’re reading this and have thoughts, I’d love to hear from you.

What does engaged parenting look like in your house right now?
What’s working? What feels hard?

Comment or hit reply.

I’m here.
Quinn 📚💕